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Quiet Desperation

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Sunday, August 21st, 2005
2:47 pm
i'm engaged.

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Thursday, August 18th, 2005
9:55 pm
1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.
my answersCollapse )

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Friday, April 1st, 2005
4:05 pm - yes, it really is.
acoustic music is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

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Saturday, March 26th, 2005
1:04 am
well, i wanted to leave you a comment, but then i remembered that you almost never enact those things, so here you are:


i miss hanging out with you. you are a wonderful girl. you've taught me so much, i don't even think i could begin to explain. thanks for all those good times and even the times that weren't so good. don't leave me behind now that you're "grown up". i love you.


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Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
4:20 pm - give it up
ok, i have accepted the trend... i WILL be at prom. note that i am not going for myself, but for all of you. nalga... burro... i love you, but you owe me. so, i was jsut wondering, who else is going? and what are your plans?

current mood: geeky

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Monday, March 21st, 2005
1:11 pm - take a look at me now
i just bought the wicker park soundtrack last night and all i can say is that it is amazing and everyone should go out and buy it. its the kind of cd that you can put in the car and drive to until you hit california. i recommend it.

ps: i miss my dermur and burro

current mood: cheerful

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Friday, March 11th, 2005
8:10 pm
ive decided that now would be a great time for me to update my site. i had an ok day witht he exception of my mother yelling at me. i got to talk things out with someone very special to me. we decided we dont care what the world thinks. i hope more than anything that this feeling lasts. i enjoy my new friend.

i hope everyone has a great break. you know the number, give me a call. well chill and have some dashboard kareoke

current mood: confused

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Saturday, February 19th, 2005
11:37 am - doo dee dum
tomorrow is my birthday so i was thinking of getting my nose pierced... what do you guys think?

(10 comments | comment on this)

Monday, February 14th, 2005
2:47 pm - what is love? baby dont hurt me...
so, this is me wishing everyone a happy valentine's day. if you have a comment on that, go for it. if not, enjoy the greeting.

that is all.

current mood: apathetic

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Friday, February 11th, 2005
1:35 pm - um, yeah
You scored as Emo & More. Emo and Screamo.


Emo & More


Indie Rock






Classic Rock.








Punk and Pop Punk.






Hip Hop and Rap


Music Recommendation
created with QuizFarm.com

current mood: eh, im alright.

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Friday, January 28th, 2005
12:55 pm - so who's up for some techno?
um, omg.
Fun Fun 101 played last night at
the V-Show and they did
I'm so proud of them.
Then they dedicated Panda Power to
Sorry about the conflicts...
I didnt know they would get all
butt hurt about a little comment.
I love you guys!!!!

current mood: hungry

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Sunday, January 23rd, 2005
9:20 pm - peach candles cover the smell of heartache

Your Dream Engagement Ring Has a Princess Cut Diamond!

That doesn't mean you're a princess though. Far from it :-)

You're modern, sleek, and more than a little bold at times.

You prefer that your old fashioned ring fit into your modern life.

A streamlined princess cut ring is like a work of architecture and 100% perfect for you.

What's Your Dream Engagement Ring? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

its funny, thats the engagement ring cut ive always wanted. i dunno though. im not sure marriage is for me. heaven knows that i havent had the best luck with boys yet, so... i dunno. im not looking to settle down anytime soon.

i laid in my floor with the stereo on low. it sang to me as its dim glow lit my face. my thoughts swirled around my head until i couldnt think straight. i closed my eyes to keep them inside but still they seeped out. i think they are telling me that they dont want to be controlled but thats all i want: to control everything. it has become very evident in the last few weeks that i am not in control of my life. im not mature enough to be an adult. i see my time as an opening to fill with something else to take my mind off the fact that i have no time to spare for anyone. ive become the drunkard.... when all i want is to meet the little prince. i want to tell him that we arent all like that, but it would be lie. i want a new story... not that anyone understands what im talking about. i wont explain, so dont ask. read between the lines, children. read between the lines.

current mood: betrayed

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Saturday, January 8th, 2005
2:35 pm - so i reposted, shoot me.
i hate having to care about what other people think. i wish that i could tell you everything, but i cant. my body is a ticking bomb ready to shoot all my thoughts out and plaster them on walls and tables. i dont know how much longer i can keep to myself.

you see, i have encountered a new addiction, one that i cant seem to shake no matter how much i want to. i think its because deep down, i know i DONT want to lose it. i like the temporary high that i get from long nights and abandoned freeways. i like those impromptu phone calls that lead to parks and empty houses. its the wait that erodes me from the inside out. i've come to realize that i am slowly losing pieces of me and filling those holes with something that deteriorates faster than i can repair it. i have found my own drug but i fear that i am no longer the only user. i wish there was a way to know, not that knowing would change the fact that my addiction is taking over. i dont think there is a gum to cure this. i dont think there is anything to cure this.

only a couple days left.... and i become who i was: an overworked, underpaid, overachiever who isnt given the respect deserved. welcome to adolescence.

current mood: not quite there

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Thursday, January 6th, 2005
1:18 pm - maybe i should update...
why is it that when everything is going so right, it has to all get so messed up?

at least i figured it out....

current mood: contemplative

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Saturday, December 25th, 2004
9:53 am - ho ho ho
merry christmas everybody. eat some candy canes for me. they're my favorite.

(1 comment | comment on this)

Sunday, December 19th, 2004
9:14 am - i wanna hold your hand

My grandparents bought me a new camera. 5.0, baby! i wish i knew how to use it right now. i took some pictures of last night with the old camera and many of them turned out blurry. so sorry.

Chelsea, Mike and I went to the Hey Kid show last night with Blasphamous Rumors, Good with Grenades and Curse the Sun. We had a blast though curfews suck major. Chelsea got on stage and danced with a kid who was 15 but looked 10.... then she skanked for me. i love that girl. later, we harassed a crazy hobo man and he chased us. took pictures. more of ourselves than the bands. went to "practicespace". then to drew's cousin's house...


pop it like its hotCollapse )

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Wednesday, December 15th, 2004
1:40 pm - curve balls...
my grandfather's in the hospital....

... something about his heart.

I have two essays due in the next two days...

... neither one has been started.

I have a date Friday night....

...nothing more to say there.

What do you guys
think about exchanging
the Secret Satan ( I mean, Santa) gifts
I thought that would be a good time
so that if someone forgets there's,
they always have
another day...

Call me and tell me what you think.

current mood: overwhelmed

(5 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
10:36 pm - it doesnt take much to entertain me
i stole this from my friend Paige's xanga. i thought it looked interesting. everyone should do it. my deepest apologies go out to youarethecancer because i am again going to copy and paste into my other journals because not all my friends are on livejournal. i am sorry, kiddo. you'll get over it.

Write 20 things to different people that you have never told them. Don't say who each one is for....

1. You are the greatest person anyone could ever hope to meet. I'm so happy that the little girl who liked to strip introduced us. you are amazing and you mean more to me than anybody in the world. you're my 'hero'.

2. i was so mad at you for breaking my cd. not cool kid, not cool. i know i havent come to see you. i miss you so much. we kinda grew apart after you moved and became "a man". i'll always remember arkansas and the time we spent in that little gym. too bad we got in trouble. i never would have left you. i love you and as always, your sister in christ.

3. thank you for quitting the drugs, but you need to stop drinking. you mean too much to me to see you end up like 'him'. dont go to church for me, go for yourself. believe it or not, i care what happens to you. you need Jesus whether you want to believe it or not.

4. what can i say? you hurt me just like everyone else. and despite how hard i fought it, i loved you in a different way. when that feeling goes away, ill let you know.

5. you are beautiful. dont let anyone tell you different. your inner beauty shines through all the trials that you've faced. i admire you for that. out of all my friends, i think i look up to you the most. you are creative and amazing. not to mention you have impecable taste in clothes.

6. welp, kiddo, you've done it again. you can do anything you set your mind to. dont let anyone get you down. you're worth more than that. stop being so upset with yourself. you're a wonderful person. p.s. i love your hair.

7. you should care more about yourself. it might make you happier. dont ever lie to me again. and stop calling me asshole. in case you couldn't tell from my subtle hints, i dont like it.

8. dancing with you makes me happy and fuck is a bad word. :)

9. you will be a great mother. you care so much about all of your friends, but i saw what you did.... please dont do it again.

10. convent. ireland. zebra women. enough said. you're someone i couldnt see living without. thanks for being there when i needed someone to understand.

11. i wanted to tell you thank you for the late night impromptu talks about God and Captain Planet. and also, that i admire you for your strength through everything that your family just went through. friends for life.

12. ive known you forever, but i never knew you. your faith in God has facinated me. i want to be more like you. and... your sister is hot.

13. stay away from me. i dont appreciate any of this.

14. if you hurt her, ill break your face. i know all about you and the things you've done. i've watched you. i've seen you. and if you do that to her, you will never have children. yeah, that would be a threat.

15. im so happy to have met you. you are beautiful. you have great fashion sense. you are down-to-earth. you are just awesome. and i never washed your sweatshirt.....

16. what would i do without you? i know that under the circumstances i cant always see you whenever i want to, but its nice when we do get to hang out. thank you for listening to my ramblings when everyone had abandoned me. you helped me more than you could ever know.

17. keep rockin and never cut your hair!

18. grow up. you are a baby. how much longer can you sit on mommy's lap and have her protect you. you need to become an adult which is exactly what you should be. stop being so immature.

19. the same goes for you. it was scary waking up next to you. i wasnt expecting that. dont do it again.

20. i know you're busy with your significant other, but you should come around sometime. we all miss you. im sorry for what she did to you. come back so we can relive the "good ol days"

i finished reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Although i loved the book, it was anticlimatic. like many other things in life....

current mood: still thinking about #4

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Thursday, November 18th, 2004
12:29 pm - Happy Birthday, Aimee
i hope everyone who went to the faint last night had a great time.

im wearing a button up man's dress shirt that is too big (a small... woo tah) and baggie pants. i also have a hole in my sock. does that make me ugly enough for *you* to stay away? i hope so.

where will i be friday night? you guessed it. jolyn's poetry reading. everyone who's anyone will be there.... think about it.

big 18 year old.
now you can buy smokes....
and porn.
18 is not a big year marker for me dearest, but i know you're loving it.
go to school tomorrow

"never again will i take LSD."

current mood: distant

(8 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
7:37 pm - BUSH WON!!!!!!
i am happy. bush won. go republicans.

on another note...

Death Cab for Cutie with Nada Surf
Nita's Hideaway
13 November 2004

i need to know what time it starts but because freakin nitas hideaway's site is now a search engine, i cant find it. anyone who could help me.... that would be great.

current mood: elated

(6 comments | comment on this)

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